First off, in the tradition of Cyrus The Wise, this was meant to be a comment on his article "History is for Fools"... Which was an article that was meant to be a comment for Average American's "Iran and Israel, At War!".  Anyway, here it is... my article... enjoy.

If there one piece of land on Earth could be considered unholy, it would be Israel.  More blood has been shed on that land than any other piece of land on the planet.  For centuries people have been fighting for that land not because it is fertile, not because it is flooded with natural resources, no... because all the religious nuts want it.  We all know that though, I'm just stating the obvious, so I'll move on to my thoughts about Bush.

Bush just wants to fight it, because he wants to see the biblical end times (I used to think bush was just pretending to be a Christian, but now I think he really is that stupid).  Anyway, I always believed people out there would try to push for Armageddon as predicted in the bible, because if there is a prophecy, some one will always step up and try to fulfill it.

One thing is for certain, the Muslims have been pissed for almost a century because their favorite land to fight over got handed to the Jews... I guess that would make them happy, because it gave them something to fight about.  It was only a matter of time before this war started, but to tell you the truth, I don't think the Muslims will put up much of a fight when it's all said and done.

Here's why...

Israel has prime coastal territory that's defendable with their Navy and the Navy of the U.S.  They just disabled the biggest threat to the coast line by taking out Beirut's airport (not sure how strong of a Navy Beirut has, but I'm certain it's no match for ours).  That will give them another notch of the coastline on the Mediterranean sea.

U.S. is currently occupying Iraq from there, they can immediately attack Syria, Iran and Jordan.  So they basically have the sea, and the middle of the middle east.  From a tactical standpoint, lebanon is already dismantled, so the next logical step would be to take out Syria to get the rest of the Mediterranean coast.

From there, the big war with Iran starts (big war, meaning about 2 weeks from past experiences with Iraq).  Before you know it, we are occupying almost the entire middle east.  Where the plan breaks down though is the human factor.  They're not going to give up easy, they're going to form new groups and fight to try and regain the land, because it is against their religion to lose their land.

So if the U.S. and the rest of the major world powers want to really take over the land, they must erect strip joints in as many places as possible.  The way I figure it, if you are going to taint the holy land and the middle east with blood and violence, whats' wrong with a couple hundred thousand bare titties.  From there, you put up as many McDonald's as humanly possible.  That will fatten their population up a little bit and hopefully make them lazy, you should probably change the name to something more regional... such as Mohamed's.  The catch phrase could be, "Mohamed's, we know you'll like it, we have seen it".  Then you can set up a standard minimum wage of about a buck and a quarter ($1.25) or so, and they'll be happy.

Soon after that, you must introduce the population to an Elvis clone.  Why Elvis you ask?  To rapidly advance their entertainment system starting with arguably the first truly appalling character (he shook his hips).  Then slowly advance to heavier rock and disco, then eventually grunge and rap.  Once you taint their society with grunge and rap, they will be fighting for different reasons.  They will no longer fight each other for the sake of God, but they will fight each other for colors and micro-territories which don't actually belong to them, but they won't care.

Last but not least, if you want to truly assimilate the Middle East, you must liberate their women, and to do that, you need.... Lifetime.  Yes, you need Lifetime and possibly Opera to get the job done.  You need to do this as quickly as possible, because women will put reason into their men.  Muslim men believe that when they die for a good cause they get several vigins in the afterlife.  So introducing Opera and Lifetime will accomplish two things.  For one, it will allow women to think for themselves, and two, it will make the 14 year old female virgins virtually extinct in the Middle East.  Because men like to think with their dicks, if you take away the incentive of virgins in the afterlife, they don't have much to fight for after that.

If this whole process takes 10-15 years, then we have advanced their civilization quickly and painlessly.  Remember, the true key to an obedient society, is a fat society.  So Mohamed's burger joint must be implemented as quick as possible.

Just another set of random thoughts by Normalized Vector.