Here is my version of the State of the Union speech

Thank you Mr. Speaker (Mr. Yes-man) Vice President Cheney (puppet master) members of Congress (my fair weather friends) members of the Supreme Court ( what I like to call my stacked deck) distinguished guests (people who know better than to disagree with me) and my fellow citizens (those who dress according to my policy). [APPLAUSE]

First I will work on black vote we are grateful for the good life of Coretta Scott King. You know more than a million Americans live with HIV, and half of all AIDS cases occur among African Americans. [APPLAUSE - interrupted]... So I’m telling all you in congress if you want to get reelected reform and reauthorize the Ryan White Act, and provide new funding to states, so we can end the waiting lists for AIDS medicines in America. This will also get Clinton and my dad off my ass for a while. Hell sometimes I think my daddy likes Bill better then me. [LAUGHTER] You know we are both boomers and turning 60 this year. Wow that’s messed up, 60 good thing I’m rich I could never make it on Social Security.

Sorry about that folks I fell off track for a minute. Back to my speech HEH HEH. To all you people who lost your homes during Katrina I propose we send yas back to school. You don’t want us rebuilding those old houses you owned, do ya? Get an education then when you are out there working for minimum wage and starving at least you will know why you're screwed. [APPLAUSE]

I was going to tell everyone about my exit plan in Iraq But its Top Secret. What I can tell ya is we will never accept defeat. I don’t care how many of our brave men women have to die for my little indiscretion. [SILENCE]

I was also going to tell yas how we are going to get Bin Laden. But my good friends in Saudi Arabia told me I couldn’t do that. They actually told me to stick to the plan Iraq Iraq Iraq. They also told me to let you know that Iran might be threat to them. So tonight I am going to tell ya Bin laden isn’t in Iran but they are a definite threat to our sponsers SAUDI ARABIA.bush

Our economy is strong 4.6 million new jobs have been created in India and we have more people than ever making minimum wage. [APPLAUSE] Americans should not fear our economic future, because we intend to shape it. [APPLAUSE]

It is said that prior to the attacks of September the 11th, our government failed to connect the dots of the conspiracy.So I ask you to reauthorize the Patriot Act. [DISTANT BOOS]

I have authorized a terrorist surveillance program to aggressively pursue the international communications of suspected al Qaeda operatives and affiliates to and from America. If you thought the patriot act was brutal wait till you see this baby.

I would like to tell yas more but I really hate these things. So I will leave you with this thought any thing those liberals say is Bull S...T. [Applause]

God told me today that I could bless America so I did, GOOD NIGHT.

[APPLAUSE]