“I Eat because I'm Unhappy, I'm Unhappy because I'm Fat, and I'm Fat because I Eat!"

House Speaker Fat Hastard devours profits in a real estate deal that looks suspiciously criminal, if not  . . . evil.  Fat Hastard secretly owns a large parcel of land in Kendall County, IL purchased through a real estate trust with two other clandestine partners:  Number One and Number Two.  Coincidentally, Fat Hastard also pushed a highway bill through the House in 2002 with an earmark for construction of the $207 million Prairie Parkway, and the  proposed path of this highway is nae but 5 miles east of Fat Hastard’s bonny glen.  Location is everything in real estate, and thanks to the upcoming highway, what started out as cheap farmland is now as precious as Austin Power’s Mojo.  Fat Hastard has already sold 138 acres of his investment for a $1.5 million profit.  The main course is yet to come.