1.      If you think the Iraq War was a good idea and it is going well, vote Republican.

2.      If you think Iraqis attacked us on 9-11, and the Iraq War is fair retribution for that, vote Republican.

3.      If you think the national debt, a record $8+ trillion, about $25,000 for each man, woman and child in the country, does not matter, then vote Republican.

4.      If you like a yearly deficit and it does not bother you that Congress can no longer balance the budget, vote Republican.

5.      If you think Jack Abramoff’s frequent visits to the White House were all on the up and up, vote Republican.

6.      If you approve of all the phony, paid-for, “news” articles, broadcast by people who were not reporters, and given to the press to present as real news, vote Republican.

7.      If you think trickle-down economics works, i.e., give most of the money or tax breaks to the rich and trust them to let you have some of it, vote Republican.

8.      If you think that the minimum wage, which has been the same for nine years, is high enough, and anyone who doesn’t like it can go to hell, vote Republican.

9.      If it does not bother you that 40 million people, about half of them children, have no health care, and you would never vote to give them any cause you have yours, ignoring Biblical quotes about helping the poor and sick, vote Republican.

10.  If you think that Brownie really was doing a heckuva job with Katrina relief, and his critics were just playing politics, and George Bush’s mom was correct in saying that the refugees living in the Astrodome were better off, vote Republican.

11.  If you think the editorial in the Army Times calling for Rumsfeld’s firing are disloyal, and all those ex-generals who say the same thing are unpatriotic, vote Republican.

12.  If you liked Colin Powell’s presentation before the United Nations, with his drawings of aluminum tubes, and an empty anthrax flask, and his statements about destructive weapons, and think it was all factual, vote Republican.

13.  If you think Joe Wilson was wrong, Iraq really did try to buy uranium from Niger, and his wife was just playing around in the CIA, vote Republican.

14.  If you agree that granting no bid contracts to military suppliers, including Dick Cheney’s company, Halliburton, is fair and efficient, and the nine billion plus dollars that is missing in Iraq is nothing, vote Republican.

15.  If you think the current trend of privatizing military functions (laundry, food preparation, etc.) is a good idea, and no one is abusing it, vote Republican.

16.  If you think stem-cell research is the work of the Devil, vote Republican.

17.  If you think evolution is just a theory, and there really are no scientific facts, vote Republican, and run for local school board, if you live in Tennessee.

18.  If you think it was righteous for President Bush to refuse to testify before the 9-11 commission, then agree only to meet with them if Dick Cheney was right beside him, and it was NOT under oath, and no one could take notes, and it was in the White House, please vote Republican.

19.  If you think the media is composed of Godless, socialistic, liberal reporters who are always mean to decent people like George Bush and Dick Cheney, vote Republican.

20.  If you think, as Dennis Hastert does, that the job of Congress is to pass the President’s legislation, and not to do any oversight of the executive branch, run for office as a Republican -- they’ll love you.

21.  If you still think that anything that is wrong with our country is the Clintons’ fault, vote Republican.

22.  If you think that Dick Cheney is more patriotic than John Kerry because it was tougher to sit out the Vietnam War and go fly-fishing in Wyoming, like Cheney did, than volunteer for the most dangerous duty the Navy had, like Kerry did, vote Republican.

23.  If you think it is best for the president to ignore intelligence experts like Richard Clarke, and experienced generals like General Shinseki, and do what he feels like doing, or is told to do anyway, vote Republican.

24.  If you agree that the United States Supreme Court did the right thing in ignoring the part of our Constitution which says that powers not specifically granted to the federal government are left to the states, and they decided to stop the 2000 recount; never minding that the Florida Constitution required a recount, and the state supreme court said so, but it doesn’t matter because you only like states’ rights when they favor you, then you should run for president yourself, of course as a Republican.

25.  If you think it was fair and reasonable for the Florida Secretary of State to remove tens of thousands of people from the voting rolls in 2000, even though they were legally registered, because it helped your guy win, and that is all that matters, don’t bother to vote, because the fix is in anyway, right?

 

--Note to Readers:  This exercise is fun, and I could go on and on, as most of us could, but I must stop for now.  I invite you to comment and append your own reasons.  -- KZ